To the Team,

Team:
The game is tomorrow. The time for kicking is nigh.
What can I say? We can throw words around; words like "winner", "champions", "kickball gods", and "shitboot". But these words won't mean anything unless we pull up our kickball bootstraps and really show this "bearly legal" group of winos what's really in our arsenal.
Who are we?
What do we represent?
Why does one of our members feel the urge to write insane rantings that almost make it seem like he's taking this game seriously?
These are questions that we should ask not only ourselves, but our respective employers sometime during the day tomorrow (I recommend early afternoon, shortly after you announce to the office that you'll be leaving at a reasonable hour to go do something with your life other than work for the man).
You've got things to do.
You've got balls to kick, bases to run, beer to swill and cups to flip.
You're a somebody.
You're a member of Rambo: FIRST BALLS
(please stop reading this if you're not a member, because honestly, you'll never be if you can't respect the team's privacy).